thou shall not lie...

Lying is not good... as a matter of fact, it is a sin.
Some synonyms for lying are: deceitful, two-faced, dishonest, insincere.
Ouch, now those are some harsh words!

However awful it may be to lie and to be a liar, I can't help but like it.
I'm always really proud of myself when I can tell a terrific lie without flinching.
I never understood people who say, "look me in the eyes and say it."
Fine, I'll look straight into your eyes... give me your nose, mouth, and ears while your at... it just don't matter!
I also take a real pleasure in cooking up a great, big whopper for my friends and family to get out of tight spots.
Like, when they don't want to go into work or to a dinner party.
And, I can't help but respect people who are better liars than I.
And, there are many.
I look at them, and I hear their lies, and I am left in awe.
One of my goals in life is to be the greatest liar in the world.
Although, at this point in my life, I'm afraid I will never be able to attain this goal.
But, I will try, dammit, I will try!

Holden, you are what I am striving to become!!!

My brother and my sisters are damn good liars as well.
Sometimes I feel they are at an advantage because they have a good grasp of the English language...
Whereas, I fall short... I don't even think my hand is on the bar!!!
Damn them for their English-speaking ways!
(Maybe I shouldn't be damning them, seeing as it is a sin to lie, and they are good liars, and they don't regularly attend church. puahahahha)
But, I think I have had the most fun making up lies with my siblings.
I see it as our bonding moments.
Yes, lying and, perhaps, biting.

I love biting people.
It's fun... you should try (i suggest biting the elbow... anywhere else and the bitee will be pissed).
If I have bitten you, that is a sure sign that I consider you a great pal.
It is not uncommon to find one of us sitting on the couch gnawing on another arm.
See?
How many times do I have to tell you that my family is crazy?
Although, I think part of the reason why we like biting each other is because we're all ravenous pigs.
We can eat for ages and a half.
Our mouths are just used to chewing and biting.
So, if there is no food, then in goes someone's triceps.
Oh man, no food = unhappy family.
There's always a mini war that breaks out over the last piece of food.
It can be a little bit of cookie and you'll see us jumping over couches to get to it first.
You would think that we were being starved or something... but, the weekly trips to Costco would prove otherwise.

There's one thing that I do, which I think is very, very smart, but everyone else thinks is very, very annoying and selfish.
Like I said, wars break out over food in my house, so you can only imagine what happens when a wonderful box of assorted See's chocolates appears in my house.
So, this is what I do.
I open the box when hopefully no one else is around, and I take sample bites out of each and everyone of the chocolates.
The yummy ones I will go back to and finish off, but the yucky ones (the dark choco, the nutty, the fruit flavored) will remain in the box.
So, when the rest of my family opens the box, all they are left with are the disgusting, partially eaten chocolates.
Shout as they may, the yummy chocolates are not going to magically reappear and the yucky chocolates aren't going to be whole once again.
Besides, I am in a state of euphoria after eating to my tummy's delight, so I pay no heed to the chorus of, "Jane!!!" being yelled out.
Smart, right?
This is what I have to do to survive!
puahahahahaha.
That and put some ice cream bars at the very back of freezer where no one can see.
(as a side note: no one in my family does the above sentence anymore because it has been done so often that when there is no more ice cream visible in the freezer, we will all immediately reach in the back.)

All this talk of food has made me hungry.
Where is a nice, juicy arm?
Puhahahahaha!
I joke... kinda.

Funny, funny...

Ok, I think it's pretty obvious that I am bored... and that I have no classes today.
Anyways, I'm listening to TAL and a song came on.
A song that all of you know... it's catchy as hell and they lyrics are hecka funny.
So, I looked up the lyrics... here you are:

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way


So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul (Istanbul)Istanbul (Istanbul)

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul

how dare you...

I checked Ched's blog this morning, when I got into work, then I just checked it again (yes, i check people's blogs multiple times throughtout my boring day) and to my surprise, it was updated.
She loaded some pictures of my crazy family.
They were all sweaty and smiling and stuff...
Now, let me get some things off of my chest:

Eugene: how dare you have long hair? and have a slight dimple in one of the pictures?
Jamie: how dare you never seem to have anything i can "how dare you" on?
Ched: how dare you, the youngest chang, graduate from college? how double dare you?
(side note: ched graduating from college brings back a feeling i felt about 11 years ago when she graduated from elementary school... like it's an end of an era. sniff sniff)
Mommy and GaeDDongNyun: how dare you have 4 children? how double, triple, friple dare you?
(yes, i know friple does not follow triple. and yes, i know friple is not a word.)

While I'm on my "how dare you" rampage, let me move on to my dear friends...
Friends: how dare you hang out with cheddie? especially without me? you girls are silly. i'm going to pretend that you, in your delusion, thought cheddie was actually me. yes, that is what i will think. silly girls. silly, silly girls. puhahahaa!!!

Jane: how dare you write 2 blog entries in one day???

interviews...

For the past 3 weeks, I've been interviewing some kids in English for some reason.
That reason, I do not know.
Someone said, "interview," so I interview.

What I do is, I go into the classrooms, sit in one of the 2 seats set up in the front of the class, then call a number.
The number = a student
The student then proceeds to sit down and I then proceed to ask some questions:
Can you tell me about yourself? (for the dumber kids: introduction)
Why are you interested in English? (for the dummies: why do you like english?)
What do you want to be when you grow up? (dumb and dumber: what is your dream?)

In total, there were about 150 kids I had to interview.
150 fobby-a kids.
... asking the same questions (for comparative purposes) and listening to the same fobby answers.
It gets really boring.
Really, really boring.
Sometimes, I can't hold in my yawns.
However, there were 2 interviews that made all the other ones worth it.

Interview 1
Sitting in from of the classroom, my back towards the kids, I called out a number.
As I was writing some comments down about the previous interview, I heard some shuffling, scruffling noises.
The image of an overgrown rat popped into my head.
When I look up, seated in front of me is this scraggily girl with her head down.
I couldn’t see her face, but just the way she seated herself made me want to laugh.
Most kids would just sit down and awkwardly stare at me, all nervous-like.
But this girl just scrambled into the seat, body hunched over, face down, arms and legs strewn in every direction.
Then, just as suddenly as she appeared in front of me, she looked up with a huge smile on her face and I was about to bust up.
She seriously looked like a human she-rat!
Her face was narrow, her eyes were beady and small and black (from her black contacts), her skin was pale, her teeth yellow and crooked, and her hair in a mange.

Interview 2
This was my last interview on the last day.
A boy sat down in front of me and was nervous as hell.
He kept looking up at the ceiling when he answered my questions and covering his mouth and scratching a zit on his nose, which began to bleed (although, he didn’t know)…
But, the thing that killed me was that he would start to laugh when he couldn’t think of an answer.
He knew that he was pretty sucky, so when he got stuck, he would look at me, and I assume, see the look of confusion on my face, and begin to giggle.
I didn’t want to laugh, but knowing that it would be terrible to laugh as I interview this poor kid, obviously because he sucks, made me want to laugh even more.
Like when you get the giggles during a sermon… you know you shouldn’t, but when you think about how you shouldn't be laughing, you bust up even more.
His giggling + his fobby answers + bleeding nose = jane laughing like a madman
I couldn't help it.
Poor kid, huh?
He summons up the courage to get interviewed in English, and his teacher (me) ends up laughing in his face.

Dae~ Han Min Guk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if you remember a list I made a few months back...
It was a list of things that never fail to make me smile...
One of the things I listed was the thought of my father during the 2002 World Cup wearing a "Be The Reds" or "Red Devils" t-shirt over his big, brown, bulky, leather jacket.
Yes, that's right, he wore the t-shirt over his jacket... not under.
That's my dad.
He's crazy.
Just the way I like it.
My whole family is crazy.
Now, it's 2006 and it's World Cup time again.
So, what does my father do?
He does this:





GAE-DDONG-NYUN!!!





Thanks for emailing me the picture, Ched... it made my day.

Note: Korea defeated Togo, 2:1.

sloooooooow motion...

Last Friday night, I was chillin' near the subway station with my friends, just chewing the fat, when I heard a whole bunch of shouting.
When I turned my head to see what all the fuss was about, I find that there are 2 men engaged in a hilarious fight.
It was only 9pm and these men were already wasted.
They yelled, they shouted, they punched, they kicked...
Maybe I've witnessed too many high school fights or watched too many action flicks, but they way these 2 old farts were fighting was just really.... well, slow.
It was like the equivalent of running a lap in the swimming pool.
It seriously seemed like it was in slow motion.
It made me kinda sad to watch them.
Not really because these were 60-something year olds brawling in the middle of the street.
Nor was it because they were drunk at 9pm.
Nor was it because one of them lost their shoe after falling on the floor.
But, it was because it showed me just how much your body breaks down with age.
It's just sad.
You could see how much effort they were puting into this fight...
So much heart.
But, their broken bodies wouldn't let them do what their minds wanted them to do.
It was like, "Take that! ..... oomph....."
They were so stiff and awkward looking.

After some slap-your-knee funny kicks and punches, my friends broke up the fight.

Goal in life: stretch, exercise, and eat healthy food so if i ever get into a fight when i'm 65, some loser will write about how super cool my cat-like reflexes were in their blog.