Korea vs. Italy

I just finished reading my sister's blog... and you know what's kinda sad?
I actually look forward to reading her new entries!!!
Same with my brother...
Each time I go to their blogs and it's not updated, a part of me (albeit, a very small part of me) is disappointed.
(Jamie, what the hell is your blog address?)

Well, this morning my sister's xenga site had a new entry and I started reading about her latest adventures in Ireland, but I realized I had a class to teach in a few minutes, so I decided to save it for later... as if it was something special.
You know, like when someone gives you a piece of candy and you keep it in your pocket until after dinner so you can fully enjoy it as you watch tv???
Sad, right?
I think it's because I'm so far away or something.
No, it's because I ate rice from the crazy rice-cooker (right, Silly Jilly?)

Anyways, my sister's stories from Ireland remind me when I was in Italy.
How everyone asked me if I was Japanese...
How it was completely obviously I was foreigner...
How everybody started to add a few Italian words in their day-to-day conversations...
It was fun.
It was kinda nice walking around fully aware that I stuck out like a sore thumb... all the Sienese/Italians knew that I was a foreigner (duh).
It made life much easier because everyone knew that I didn't know crap, so they were a little more patient with me when I ordered a meal or tried to find my way around town.

Now that I'm in Korea, and I look Korean, because I am Korean (duh), people aren't as accepting of my shortcomings.
Like, this one day, I went out to buy my aunt a birthday cake, and the cake-lady asked if I wanted some candles.
I said, "yes."
And she asked, "how many?"
And, it was at that point that I was at a loss for words and just held up 5 fingers.
Her back was towards me, so she didn't see my fingers and since I didn't say anything, she turned around, looking confused by my silence, staring at my fingers.
Instead of giving me 5 candles, she asked me again, "how many?"
As if my 5 fingers weren't enough to tell her.
So, I said,"five." (in english, mind you)
She seemed a little stunned that this Korean girl was speaking English, and kinda gave me the "what the..."-eye, but, in the end, gave me my 5 candles.

Jane, you don't know how to say "5" in Korean?
Well, sure I do...
But, there are 2 ways to say "five" in Korean, and they are not always used interchangeably.
And the pressure of having to answer her question made me go blank.
Also, there is a word you are supposed to use to refer to the candles, without actually saying "candles"... and you have to say it in order for the sentence to make sense.
Unfortunately, I didn't know that word.
So, I held up 5 fingers.

You see, being Korean and living in Italy made me look like a foreigner.
A foreigner trying their hardest to live in an unfamiliar land.
But, being Korean and living in Korea makes me look like a native who is a complete dumb-a.
A dumb-a who doesn't know how to say "5 candles" and instead holds up 5-fingers as if I am 3 years old or mute.

A mean blog entry...

There's this girl who always, and I mean always, says to me, "Teacher! My name is ______ (something hella Korean). I'm genius!"
Every freakin' day.
"I'm genius."
"I'm genius."
"I'm genius."
I swear, if she says that to me one more time, I'm gonna have to shoot her!!!

I know the kid can't speak English, but you don't see me going around saying, "Soy bonita." or "Sono simpatica."

"i'm genius"... no, you're not... "you fob."

puhaha...

When was the last time any of you laughed so hard you thought you'd pee your pants???
I haven't had one of those moments in ages.
hahaha... pee your pants... that's funny.
Good times.

You know what never fails to make me smile/laugh?
Well, there are a few things (not in a particuar order):

1) During the 2002 World Cup, my mom, dad, Eugene, and I went to a Korean community center to watch the game with about 80 other Koreans. Well, some folks were giving out the "Be the Reds" t-shirts for all of us to wear while the Koreans did their thang, and when I looked over at my dad, he's sporting his t-shirt... but instead of wearing the t-shirt under his thick, leather jacket, he's wearing the t-shirt OVER his thick, leather jacket!!!!
puahahahahahahahahahaha. He's crazy. He kills me!!! hahahahahaha. Can you imagine a 50-something year old man, walking around a crowded room, wearing a bright red t-shirt on top of a leather jacket???... the t-shirt looking all sorts of bulky with the leather sleeves sticking out. puahaha!!!

Daaaaaeeeeeeeeeeee-Han-Min-Gook...

2) This one time I was shopping with my brother, and he was so amazed by how cheap everything was, that he yelled, "WOW!"... but as he made this exclamation, his gum came rolling off of his tongue and onto the floor. puahahaha.

3) "And he us asked us, 'are ye angels?' And we said, 'nay! we are but men.' Rock!" -Tenacious D

4) "Sweetheart, da-da-da-da-da..." - Daddy Chang

5) Thinking about someone tripping and falling on the floor. It's even funnier if they are carrying books and wearing a backpack. Wait, wait wait, carrying books, wearing a backpack, and tripping on the very top stair of a staircase. Ooh, so close...

Leave me alone...

This whole "blog" thing still has me a little confused.
Most times, I don't know what I should write or who I should be writing to...
Should I write about my day? about my life? about my deepest thoughts? to myself? to my friends? to strangers?
It's so annoying...
I'm not an extroverted person, so to keep up a blog kinda makes me anxious.
No, I don't need zoloft or paxil or ginko or whatever people with anxiety attacks take... I'm not that mental... but since I'm a pretty closed-off person, it feels weird to broadcast things on the internet... the most public thing in the world.
I don't enjoy telling people about myself.
I thought that Korea would be perfect for me because I wouldn't know anyone and since I speak English, not Korean, people would leave me alone.
Unfortunately, I was wrong.
I'm constantly bombarded by people who want to befriend me.
At school, the kids treat me like a star...
Even now, there are tons of kids looking over my shoulder, trying to read what I am writing...
The teachers always want to know about my day-to-day life and take me out...
At church, they want me to teach English to the kiddies...
If only people knew how much I want to be left alone.
I hate making new friends.
The awkward silences, the small talk, the courtesy-laughs, the questions...
I have my friends and I don't want anymore.
In the States, I had 6 girlfriends (and their boys), several church friends, and mia famiglia.
In Korea, I have several friends and family.
It confuses a lot people when I tell them that I don't want to go out or that I don't want to keep in touch...
"can you go out this weekend?" (no, i can't)
"do you want to have dinner next week?" (no, i don't)
"do you still talk to any of the people you met during orientation?" (nope)
Why is it so confusing?
If you are not a friend, then I don't want to spend time with you.
Period.
"But, Jane, how can you create long-lasting friendships when you don't want to meet new people? Strangers are friends you just haven't met."
See, but that's just it.
I don't want new or more friends.
It's not like I won't talk to people or I won't go out or I won't socialize, it's just that I would prefer not to.
If anyone out there is reading this, please try to understand.

fobs...

I just finished a class and I'm about to run off to my next one, but before I do, I wanted to share a funny story...
In the class I just came from, we were playing my jacked-up version of Taboo and the word that the students had to guess was "farm."
Well, I had a boy come up in front of the class and try to give the clues, but I guess he misread the word, because his clue was, "where are you...?"
puhahahahha!!!
Get it?
He thought the word was "from," not "farm."

Is it mean that I keep clowning on all of my students?
It's not just me who's making fun... all of his classmates were teasing him too...
They were like, "Hahaha. Where are you 'farm?'"
See?
I'm not the only immature one in this school.
I know, I know, I'm the teacher... blah, blah, blah...

i love math... well...

I'm reading my little sister's blog, right?
You know, just reading over some of her entries and some of the comments people have written... and by "people" I mean my brother.
As I let out the occasional chuckle, I can't help but wonder why the literary gene skipped over me.
Eugene, Jamie, and Cheddie all majored or minored or whatever in English... but what about Jane?

Is it because I was the only "early-bird"?
Is it because I was electrocuted as a wee lass? (as I like to remind Mommy every now and then.)
Is it because I'm the middle-child?

No, none of those are convincing enough.
Well, the electrocuted thing sounds pretty good...

I always like to tell myself- and others- that I am not an "English" person.
Rather, I am a "Math/Science" person.
That's right, math and science...
I know my times-tables and square roots.
I know my mitosis-cycles and ribosomes.
Because I'm a math and science girl.
I may not be able to spell or write, but who needs words when you can have numbers?

But, I'll be honest...
When I said I'm a "math/science" person, I really meant "math."
I seriously suck at the sciences.
Almost as much as I suck at English.
(speaking about sucking in english, do you guys like how I don't always capitalize subjects?)

But, you know what's sad?
I'm not even great at math.
I used to make up my own theorems when working on proofs (Go "given!" Go "reflexive!") , it took me 3 tries to finally pass calculus, and I've forgotten just about everything else.

So, what's the point of all of this?
I'm not even sure, myself.
There is no moral to this tale.
Oh, no wait, I got one:

Moral: When you suck at something, just lie and hope that no one finds out. Oh, and don't write an entry in your blog about it either... that'll totally blow your cover.

sucks to mondays...

it's monday...
i'm tired...
i gave a billion students the evil-eye to make them shut up...
i took away a cell phone (but eventually gave it back. although, thinking back, i should have kept it because it's hell of a lot better than mine. well, maybe not hell of a lot, but a lot.)...
this new teacher keeps trying to give me new material to teach, and i'm not at all interested...
my eyes hurt because of my contacts...
i'm drinking grape juice that's a little too tannic (sp???), leaving my tongue feeling dry...
i can go home now, but i have my daily routine of cooking dinner to look forward to...
and when you can't cook, it's not fun...
and when you have no ingredients to cook with, it's even less fun...

on the upside, my monday is done.
tomorrow is tuesday.
that's one day closer to friday.
that's one day closer to freedom.
i just have to take it by-day-by.
puahahahahahahahahahaha.

oh, what a guy, that Gaston...

So, I'm just sitting at my desk, right?... checking emails, listening to npr, picking at something stuck in my teeth with my tongue, when all of a sudden, I say to myself, "the wheels are always turning..."
Meaning, I'm always thinking... duh.

Now, don't ask me why I said that to myself... maybe I was giving myself a pep talk, who knows...
That doesn't matter, it's besides the point.
What I want to know is, who can tell me where I got that from... "the wheels are turning?"

Give up?
Beauty and the Beast!!!
Don't you remember when Gaston is plotting something crazy in the pub, and he sings, "the wheels in my head have be turning..."
and his sidekick (Apu, is it... or is that the monkey from Aladdin?) says, "a horrible passtime..."
Gaston continues, "I know..."

You remember that?
Oh, that Gaston...
I liked that guy.
If you think of it, he wasn't really a bad person.
A little obsessed with Belle, but, who wouldn't be?
I mean, come on... her name means Beauty!!!
Who wouldn't be captivated by her?!?!
I know he set out to kill the Beast and all, but it's kinda understandable... the Beast is a big and hairy and unhuman (maybe, even a little unanimal, right Ched?).
Gaston didn't know that it was a bratty prince who got turned into a lion-y creature.
Shoot, I'd probably be cheering Gaston on- "Kill the Beast. Kill the Beast..."
hahaha... that kinda sounds Lord of the Flies-ish, doesn't it?
Sucks to as-mar.

the things i miss...

You know, Korea is so much like America, that I can't say I've ever been homesick since my arrival.
Sure, there are some differences: Korea is hella stinky, people don't follow traffic rules, everyone speaks Korean...
But, everything I want, Korea has: Dove soap, delicious ice cream, alcohol (puahaha).
Yet, no matter how much like America Korea has become, there are some things that I miss dearly...
1) burritos... need I say more?
2) The Simpsons... kinda ironic, considering the fact that it's drawn here... or it is?
3) Theremasilk... I love the smell
4) Silk... as in, chocolate soy milk, not the wonderfully smooth thread that comes out of a bug's arse.
5) KQED... oh, kqed
6) Q-tip brand q-tips... it's like swabbing my ears with a cloud on a stick... the q-tips here are like swabbing my ears with chopsticks! Not fun... not fun at all.
7) driving... I just like to drive and drive fast. I can't do that here.
8) shopping... it's been a while since I've been shopping for clothes.

There are more, of course, like family, friends, blah blah blah...
No, really, I miss you all the most...

day 2 with nothing to do...

Today is the 2nd day of tests, so I have nothing to do again.
It's really nice to be able to chill, but it makes me really tired to just sit here and try to find ways to keep myself busy.
All the students left around noon, so after lunch, 2 other teachers and I left campus and went shopping!!!
hahahaha.
I needed to buy gifts for my family, so those 2 teachers said that we should just cut out for a couple of hours!
As we were shopping, we ran into several students, and they didn't even care.
All of them acted as if this happens everyday.

Sooooooo tired...................................

yes... no classes!!!

Today, tomorrow, and Thursday, I have absolutely nothing to do.
The students have their midterms this week, so I have no classes to teach.
whoo hoo.
All the other teachers have to watch over the classes, you know, to make sure there aren't any wandering eyes, but since I'm the new, English-speaking teacher, I can just chill.
In some ways, it's nice being new and not being able to speak Korean, because everyone's expectations of me are really low.
Like, if I was fluent in Korean, I bet that I would be up in one of the classrooms with my ruler to open a can of whoop-a on the first student I see cheating.
Hahahaha.

Speaking of whipping some "a," the other day, one of my co-teachers hecka hit some of the students.
I was in the classroom teaching the poor students what little English I know, when "smack, smack, smack, smack."
Four kids got hit in the hall for being late to class.
Yup, Korea still allows teachers to hit their students.
It's funny because you'll see the teachers walking to class carrying their beating stick...
A lot of teachers don't actually use it, it's more for intimidation, but it still kills me.
No one cares if a student gets hurt.

Last week, there was a student who was being bad or something, so the teacher had him stand up and she grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
As the boy was being shaken, like a present on Christmas morning, he lost his energy and fell down, but, along the way, hit his head on the desk.
He then went to the principal to complain, saying that he was being abused and that the teachers hit too hard, but the prinicpal didn't even care.
The teacher was told not to do it again (but those are just words) and that was the end of it.
As a side note, the teacher claims she didn't shake him very hard and that he is a very naughty boy.
hahahaha.
I swear, these Koreans kill me sometimes.