faceism...
Sometimes, when I see something funny or interesting, I think to myself, "I should write about that in my blog..."
Geeky, I know.
But, once I actually get around to writing in this thing, I usually forget what I was going to write about or can't put it in words.
Additionally, I'm quite infamous for my terrible story-telling skills.
From a very young age, as far back as I can remember, I was told time and time again that I should give up on story-telling.
According to my calculations, there was only one time that I told a story and my siblings did not criticize me.
As a matter of fact, they laughed and rather enjoyed themselves.
You see, it's so rare for me to actually get that kind of reaction that I actually remember what story I told...
It was about a Seinfeld episode involving Kramer, a baseball player, a whole lot of fist-pounding, and some yelping.
It was very funny, very funny indeed.
But, I digress.
("Digression!" as they would yell out in Holden's old English class.)
Before I began this entry, I was trying to think of something interesting to share.
And, the only thing that popped into my mind was how much ugly people bother me.
Jilly once told me to write about this, but I always held back.
It's just not that nice to feel this way.
I've even gone so far as to call myself a faceist... (not a facist, mind you)
Yes, my dear friend, I am a faceist.
Ex 1: No, I do not think all babies are cute.
When I see an ugly baby, I will proclaim, "that kid is uuuuuh-guuuhhhh-leeeeeeeee!"
Then, turn away in disgust... but, not before sticking my tongue out at the beast.
Ex 2: I refuse to watch any Korean dramas if the main characters are not good-looking, no matter how interesting the story.
Ex 3: (this is my meanest example, but i'll be damned if you all don't feel the same way!!!) I feel less sorry for a handicapped or mentally retarded person if they are ugly.
Like, if I see a handicapped or mentally retarded person who is good-looking, I think, "wow, that's so sad. what a waste! they're so cute!"
But, if they aren't good looking, I think, "wow... that sucks. ah well. such is life. whateva."
Ex 4: Sometimes, I get the sudden urge to punch a person in their face if they are a particular kind of ugly.
This is a little hard to explain, so I won't even bother.
Ex 5: I think it's much funner to hang out with fun people who are good-looking than to hang out with fun people who are ugly.
~As a disclaimer, these examples make me seem much more faceist than I actually am. I swear, I have a heart somewhere inside of this cold, hardened shell I call a body.~
Some people may say, "Jane, you're not all that either. Who gives you the right to be so critical of other people's faces?"
Well, dammit, I give myself the right.
It's not because I think I'm so gorgeous that I make these remarks or think these thoughts.
It's just a matter of fact.
Does one need to be good looking in order to criticize the uglies of this world?
No!
That's like saying I can't be like, "wow, the sun is hella hot" just because I'm not like a billion degrees. (or is it?)
The sun is hot... fact.
Usher is ugly... fact.
Jane is a faceist... fact.
Geeky, I know.
But, once I actually get around to writing in this thing, I usually forget what I was going to write about or can't put it in words.
Additionally, I'm quite infamous for my terrible story-telling skills.
From a very young age, as far back as I can remember, I was told time and time again that I should give up on story-telling.
According to my calculations, there was only one time that I told a story and my siblings did not criticize me.
As a matter of fact, they laughed and rather enjoyed themselves.
You see, it's so rare for me to actually get that kind of reaction that I actually remember what story I told...
It was about a Seinfeld episode involving Kramer, a baseball player, a whole lot of fist-pounding, and some yelping.
It was very funny, very funny indeed.
But, I digress.
("Digression!" as they would yell out in Holden's old English class.)
Before I began this entry, I was trying to think of something interesting to share.
And, the only thing that popped into my mind was how much ugly people bother me.
Jilly once told me to write about this, but I always held back.
It's just not that nice to feel this way.
I've even gone so far as to call myself a faceist... (not a facist, mind you)
Yes, my dear friend, I am a faceist.
Ex 1: No, I do not think all babies are cute.
When I see an ugly baby, I will proclaim, "that kid is uuuuuh-guuuhhhh-leeeeeeeee!"
Then, turn away in disgust... but, not before sticking my tongue out at the beast.
Ex 2: I refuse to watch any Korean dramas if the main characters are not good-looking, no matter how interesting the story.
Ex 3: (this is my meanest example, but i'll be damned if you all don't feel the same way!!!) I feel less sorry for a handicapped or mentally retarded person if they are ugly.
Like, if I see a handicapped or mentally retarded person who is good-looking, I think, "wow, that's so sad. what a waste! they're so cute!"
But, if they aren't good looking, I think, "wow... that sucks. ah well. such is life. whateva."
Ex 4: Sometimes, I get the sudden urge to punch a person in their face if they are a particular kind of ugly.
This is a little hard to explain, so I won't even bother.
Ex 5: I think it's much funner to hang out with fun people who are good-looking than to hang out with fun people who are ugly.
~As a disclaimer, these examples make me seem much more faceist than I actually am. I swear, I have a heart somewhere inside of this cold, hardened shell I call a body.~
Some people may say, "Jane, you're not all that either. Who gives you the right to be so critical of other people's faces?"
Well, dammit, I give myself the right.
It's not because I think I'm so gorgeous that I make these remarks or think these thoughts.
It's just a matter of fact.
Does one need to be good looking in order to criticize the uglies of this world?
No!
That's like saying I can't be like, "wow, the sun is hella hot" just because I'm not like a billion degrees. (or is it?)
The sun is hot... fact.
Usher is ugly... fact.
Jane is a faceist... fact.
posted by thecatcherintherice at 10:04 AM
