crazy............

Here are my siblings in a nutshell:
Eugene is a human version of Hobbes - all obese and sloth-like, with a hella deep belly button...
Jamie is a shopaholic...
Cheddie is a drunken bastard...
They make me laugh.
I never talk to them on the phone, so the only way I know what they are up to is by our occasional emails and by reading their blogs.
I swear, my family is full of some crazy-arse people.
The only common characteristic we all share is our slight insanity.
Like, we all laugh ourselves silly when Eugene flips his ugly cat in the air like an Italian flips his pizza dough.
And, we will literally go at each other necks over the last melon bar (it's an ice cream. ched, what does the color remind you of?).
And, we all love to put each other down to show how much we care.
There was even a time when we made a family newsletter.
I'm not quite sure why we did this or if we have any copies, but that newsletter was funny as hell.
We weren't little kids or anything when we wrote it either... we were all in college or high school.
(As my disclaimer, I never participated in the writing process. Although, it's not because I didn't want to, it's because I'm not an Englishy person, remember? Plus, my family would probably of have laughed at me...)

But, wait, let's not forget about my parents.
Yes, they are crazy as hell, too... where do you think we all get it from?
My dad, for example, said us kids were cheap and he hated us when we gave him a stack of books for Christmas.
This would be somewhat understandable if it wasn't for the fact that he said he didn't want anything in the first place or how he told me how much he would like to read those books or how we gave him other stuff in addition to the books.
My dad also likes to go to the bathroom and use the first toothbrush he sees.
It doesn't matter to him that he has his own or that my mom labeled it with a big "D" so he would stop using all of ours.
Needless to say, there have been many a toothbrush that have been tossed in the trash because of this.

My mom is the queen of crazy.
She's the type of person who backs out of the driveway, without fully looking behind her, and comes within inches of flattening someone.
Then, when we yell at her like, "Mom! Stop! Geez, what's wrong with you? Didn't you see that person?"
She'll respond with, "Well, they should have seen me backing up."
She also wakes up at the ungodly hour of 6am to go hiking.
Now, no one in the right state of mind would do something like that.
Oh, and she also likes to feed her poor, hungry children old, rotty food.
And, she likes to deny it.

And people wonder why I am the way I am.